Lost in Virginia

Maybe I am running because I am bored? Hmmm well that or the jet-lag, either way another dawn run. The original plan was to run an 8 mile loop after yesterdays 4 mile loop. Well the best laid plans of mice and men and all that... I missed my turn-off and kept running until I passed a road that I had seen on Google Map earlier and knew was about 1 1/2 miles further along than the road I should've turned on. So I had to turn tail and retrace my steps. So my 8 mile run turned into a half-marathon by accident. And boy was it tough.

OK fitness wise I know I have this in me. 6 months of circuit training have given me the cardiovascular fitness I need, but my legs are not ready for this yet. After about 7 miles the knees began smarting, then the hamstrings and then the calf muscles. It didn't help that the route was very hilly -- "country roads take me home to the place I belong, west virginia, mountain moma" -- very apt.

At one point I did begin laughing hysterically for no apparent reason, at 10 miles I was singing Whitesnake - "Here I go again" at the top of my voice.. and at 11 I was praying for sight of Stevens Lane which meant I had 1 1/2 left to go. And people do this for fun!!

Still at least I have a mental idea of what a Marathon consists of, and I was able to eat a super-sized breakfast with no qualms... and Virginia is very pretty.

Roanoke, VA

In Troutville, Roanoke, VA with Melanie's Dad and his 2nd wife for a few days before Christmas. Flight was delayed 4 hours! Of course the airline lied, as they always do. First it was 10 minutes, then 30 minutes, then an hour. Why do they do that! Grrrrr... come the revolution!

Went for a run this morning, about 4 miles. First time I've ever ran before breakfast. Actually enjoyedd it though my legs felt like lead for some reason. Quite hilly around here so it was a bit tough! Nice view of the mountains and of some ludicrously large houses. Its an affluent neighbourhood Troutville. Mind you I do wonder how Americans can be so 'neighbourly' when their houses are so far apart!!!

Also plenty of totally over-the-top Christmas decorations... houses lit up like Blackpool illuminations! And ample proof yet again that having money does not mean you have any taste..

Marathon -- Progress So Far

Yup I am running a marathon -- the London Marathon in April next year to be precise.

By way of an update to all those who have sponsored me so far, and those thinking of doing so, I thought I'd give you a progress report.

It’s cold, it’s wet, it’s dark early -- welcome to England in the winter. Truly a miserable time to be doing any kind of outdoor exercise.

So for the most part I have been exercising indoors -- for those of you at Surrey you would have been able to catch me in circuit training 2-3 times per week.

Is it working -- well I've lost belly fat as none of my trousers fit me anymore! And I've dropped a few pounds too. That and my general stamina and fitness are definitely better.

I have also been venturing outdoors, freezing my ass off, but doing a regular 5K twice a week.

The plan is once I get back from Christmas state-side to begin a proper Marathon training programme but my running shoes will be in my hand luggage to the US and I will be keeping up a battle with the usual Christmas bulge.

For those of you who haven't sponsored me yet, please go here and give me some encouragement. I've a long way to go to meet my target of £1100.


http://www.bmycharity.com/V2/jasonsmarathonrun

For those who have -- thanks.

Jason

Desert Island Discs -- the iPod 5

I have always enjoyed listening to desert Island Discs on Radio 4, even if a lot of the time I think the celebs chosen deliberately doctor their choices to make themselves appear more 'pointy-headed' and serious than they probably really are. I mean I enjoy classical music a lot but if I had to choose 5 pieces of music would I really choose Mozart's Requiem? Also no-one ever has a 'guilty pleasure', the admission to actually loving Kylie or Boney M.

Well I doubt I will ever appear on the show but anyway thanks to the invention of the iPod I now know what my 5 songs would be since the genius little thing calculates your top 25 most played tracks. Well maybe my list has been skewed by the fact that its taken me 9 months to reach a 1000 songs stored but as of today it would appear that I will be stuck on a desert island with the following:

1. The Gambler -- Kenny Rogers (Yes I am as shocked as you)
2. Hell Yeah -- Neil Diamond
3. Help Me Make it Through the Night -- Sammi Smith
4. Galway Girl -- Steve Earle and Sharon Shannon
5. Teenage Kicks -- The Undertones

What worries me is that I seem to have a subconscious predilection for Country Music since also in my top 25 are 3 Johnny Cash numbers! Well I blame it on the genes -- my Dad after all was a Vic Reeves-style northern Club singer.

The McCain Strategy -- How it 'might' work -- but likely won't.

OK Firstly I think its highly unlikely that McCain can win.

Why?

There have been over 250+ polls since the last time McCain was ahead in any opinion poll and that was in September after the convention 'bounce'. Since then ALL 250+ polls have shown an Obama lead ranging from double digit to a single percentage point.

And then of course national polls DO NOT COUNT since this is a race run in 50 separate contests and in the states that count Obama has had the upper hand forcing McCain onto the defensive -- even making him defend his home state of Arizona!

So I think Obama will win and that he could win as many as 350 electoral college votes -- which wouldn't be a landslide but would be a whopping victory and a mandate for change.

HOWEVER there is a TINY chance McCain could pull off what would be the biggest upset in US history and here is how...

The 8-9% of undecided voters MUST break overwhelmingly for him, especially in states such as Ohio, Florida and Pennsylvannia. If they do we could get something like this.

Obama wins all the usual democratic states: California, New York, Mass etc
He also wins New Mexico, Colorado, Nevada and Missouri -- all of which were Bush states in 2004.

However he loses Ohio (Bush 2000 and 2004) and McCain manages to flip Pennsylvania (Democrat since 1992).

In addition McCain MUST see off the challenge in Ohio, Florida, North Carolina and Virginia.

Result: McCain 270 Obama 268 -- closer than the 2000 result where Bush won by 271 to 266

So the key battlegrounds to watch are Ohio, Penn, Missouri and Virginia if it is close (which I still feel it won't be) and Virgnia is the one of these to watch the most. Why?

Take the scenario above... if Obama loses Missouri but wins Virginia then McCain can do all of the above (flip Penn and win Florida, NC and Ohio) but still lose.

In that scenario it would be Obama with 270 and McCain with 268.

However IF record numbers of young people do vote, and if (as early polling shows) African-Americans turn out in record numbers then any last minute surge of support from undecided voters can be contained.

America and the world should know in about 36 hours which way the wind will blow.

Trailers and movie food Grrrrr

Quick Sunday night rant...

went to the pictures last night to watch the new Bond film "Quantum of Solace". Bought the tickets in advance as it was the movie's first weekend and turned up about a minute before the scheduled start time of 8.15.

THIRTY minutes later the bloody movie still hadn't started! Now once upon a time in my childhood most main features were preceded by a movie short, usually either some rather dull and amateurish documentary or a cartoon (depending on whether it was the matinee performance or evening). Between the two, usherettes used to come down the isle selling ice cream tubs (small bite-size potions in a little pot) sweets and drinks. Then the lights would dim for a second time and there would be about 5 minutes of adverts by the infamous Pearl and Dean (ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba)... and off we'd go.

The shorts went years ago... and with them the usherettes (sadly) however the cinema companies seem to have decided that they will still use the time once filled by their presence to not only show ads bought by their sponsors but also for some shameless self-promotion. Why cinemas need to advertise I don't know, in most towns there is only one cinema so there is no competition and when you decide to go the movies its to see a movie not because you decide it would be nice to visit the Odeon because they have nice seats or nachos....

Which reminds me... since when did going to see a movie become an excuse to eat a 3 course meal during the movie! It used to be some ice cream a a little bag of chocolate.. now! Well yesterday there was a couple who walked in just as the lights were dimming trying to precariously balance a hot dog each, drowned in mustard, a jumbo pop corn (each!) and two giant sized coca colas!! Firstly it stunk, secondly they had to both get up and go for a pee during a movie which was only 1 hr 45 minutes long (quelle surprise given that they must have drunk 2 pints of pop).

Anyway... more pining for the past... a one-screen cinema, with rock hard seats, a smoking section (really) and a special £1.00 entrance on a Monday :-)

US Election

The picture says it all really (it is genuine – taken post debate after John McCain left the stage the wrong way and had to double-back quickly).

Obviously the collapse of the economy has been a gift to the Obama camp shifting focus away from the one area where McCain and the Republicans were strong -- foreign policy.

Of course the polls are all over -- can Obama really be pulling ahead in places like West Virginia and North Dakota -- and the actual result is likely to be closer than the 10-14% the latest national polls are showing. But aside a major gaffe or a terrorist attack I really can't see McCain coming back.

Of course in many parts of the world with age comes great wisdom and deference. However in the debates and on the stump McCain just look so old compared to the youthful glow and charisma of Obama.

Throw into the equation a whole host of gaffes and well...

However the one thing that has stood out to me in the past couple of months is just how cool and calm Obama looks. He acts presidential... his presence reassures. If a crisis struck you can imagine him responding calmly, weighing the options before acting. as for old John McC and the Pit-bull, well do we want a hot-headed erratic in a time of global crisis?

Anyway if, to coin an old adage, a week is a long time in politics, then 19 days is an eternity.

Oh and back to the economy for a moment.... it seems all those bankers and traders around the world just aren't wishing hard enough... remember you have to believe in fairies for Tinkerbell to come back to life!!

Tinkerbell Economics?

Interesting Question from a friend of mine today in a Facebook group I manage as part of my teaching.

"I'm confused, sir, Mr Teacher, sir, if the British Government has injected £400bn into the banking system because it's in difficulty because the banks aren't lending to each other and they're not lending to businesses and aren't lending to individual people, but the British Government didn't have £400bn to do this, so has had to borrow the £400bn, my question is this - Who lent the British Government £400bn?"

I had my students try to answer this... the only clue I gave them was Tinkerbell. In the end they got it... confidence

In Peter Pan -- Tinkerbell is dying because people no longer believe in fairies... but she will survive if enough people believe in fairies. In the play (not the book) Peter asks all the children to shout "I believe in fairies," to bring her back from the dead.

And so to Tinkerbell Economics -- if we all start beleiving in the markets again then like Tinkerbell it will all work again.

To which one student said " So the worst thing we can do is stop spending?" Answer -- of course... keep spending and consumer confidence can be restored. Stop spending and the deflationary impact of the crisis on growth will be exacerbated and magnified.

Sound implausibly simple?

This was in Newsweek:

"It's all about confidence, stupid. Every financial system depends on trust. People have to believe that the institutions they deal with (their "counterparties") will perform as expected. We are in a full-blown crisis because investors and financial managers—the people who run banks, investment banks, hedge funds, insurance companies—have lost that trust. Banks recoil from lending to each other; investors retreat. The ultimate horror is a financial panic; everyone wants to sell and no one wants to buy. Paulson's plan—still lacking essential details—aims to avoid that calamity." (Tinkerbell Economics)

http://www.newsweek.com/id/160098

Enough doom and gloom

Every day seems to bring news of the biggest fall on the stock market since the Jurassic era. I wonder how much all this reporting of doom and gloom by the media is actually responsible for investors and savers panicking? The BBC for example precedes any story it has now on the 'credit crunch' by a backdrop of share prices in the red and a graph with the trend going south at an alarming rate.

So enough already -- time we all started to be more positive about life, the universe and everything... and to demonstrate the fallability of the media here are some clangers and wonderful mis-prints/typos:

“A rocket will never be able to leave the Earth’s atmosphere.” — New York Times, 1936

“Nuclear-powered vacuum cleaners will probably be a reality in 10 years.” -– Alex Lewyt, president of vacuum cleaner company Lewyt Corp., in the New York Times in 1955

"I think there is a world market for maybe five computers." -- Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, 1943.

"We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out." -- Decca Recording Co. rejecting the Beatles, 1962.

"With over 50 foreign cars already on sale here, the Japanese auto industry isn't likely to carve out a big slice of the U.S. market." -- Business Week, August 2, 1968

Misprints

People in Preston ward are invited to a meeting at 7.15pm tonight in St Mary's Church Hall, Brighton, to meet councillors and beat police officers. (Evening Argus)

The skeleton was believed to be that of a Saxon worrier. (Express and Echo)

The strike leaders had called a meeting that was to have been held in a bra near the factory, but it was too small to hold them all. (South London Press)

One man was admitted to hospital suffering from buns. (Bristol Gazette)

Police in Hawick yesterday called off a search for a 20-year-old man who is believed to have frowned after falling into the swollen River Teviot. (The Scotsman)

The first aid treatment for a broken rib is to apply a tight bandage after you have made your patient expire. (Manchester Evening News)

Pull Your Pants Up

Right another rant… this time against the almost ubiquitous male fashion trend of wearing your jeans/jogging pants so low that not only are the boxers on display but your arse is hanging out for all to see.

Guys – you don’t look cool and, unless I am corrected by female readers, it doesn't look hot either. There is a reason why we call them underpants – because they go under your pants!

In the words of the Denis Leary – “there’s 27 inches of underwear there, what the F**k is that all about, will someone please explain it to me”.

The ‘trend’ began in US gang culture but originated in the US prison system where belts are confiscated because they can be used to commit suicide or to strangle someone. Thus baggy jeans would fall down around the hips. Black and Hispanic gang culture mimicked this trend and eventually it became a global phenomenon. But I’m sorry when you are wandering around a shopping mall in conservative Malaysia as I was 2 weeks ago andyou spy scrawny Chinese kids with their jeans around their knees IT HAS GONE TO FAR!

So ‘Pull up Yur Pants’

And watch this… classic stand-up -- skip to 1 minute 14 when he starts his rant about coffee :-)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z-fvEuu_90Q

Litter, Gum and Britain's Aesthetically Awful Streets

OK time for a rant I think.

Next time you take a walk on the streets of any sizeable UK town or city look down. Firstly you’ll see what an increasingly untidy place this once-sceptred isle has become. Seems people are quite happy to dump any and indeed all their miscellaneous crap in public. Since I started doing this I’ve noted not just the usual suspects: aluminium cans, plastic bottles and crisp packets but random pieces of clothing! A sock here, a T-shirt there! Extraordinarily inexplicable!

Once upon a time we had a very prominent anti-litter campaign – ‘Keep Britain Tidy’. If anyone knows what happened to this please shout. And its not just me. An American friend of mine who is studying for his doctorate here quipped that Bill Bryson’s famous travel book should be renamed ‘Notes from a Messy Country’. Personally I’d like to go around to the homes of the worst offenders and have the crap they’ve chucked dumped in their bedroom or garden – mind you they are probably a dump anyway. I’ve written repeatedly to my local councillors who basically do nothing except trumpet meaningless initiatives. I have specifically asked for details of how many fixed penalties have been issued in the last 12 months – surprisingly they never got back to me with that.

Anyway look again and look harder and you’ll see that almost every pavement is pock-marked by old chewing gum. Take a close look – its not the odd random piece but 1000s of pieces of the damned stuff. Again no excuse except bone-idleness and a f**k you attitude. First of all -- WAKE UP PEOPLE CHEWING GUM IS NOT BIODEGRADABLE YET.

Solution? Well we could go the way of Singapore and ban the stuff, although even I accept that this is somewhat excessive. Alternatively we can fine people heavily for just chucking the stuff/spitting it out (all those cameras have to be good for something) until research into biodegradable gum produces a viable alternative. http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/pda/A172342?s_id=10

And finally – while you are looking at the pavement please note what a hotchpotch patchwork quilt of uneven concrete/tarmac it has now become. Since the privatisation and de-regulation of the utilities these companies have been free to dig up the roads whenever they choose to make repairs, change mains, lay new cable, lay broadband, phone lines etc etc. One road in Kent was dug up 37 times in 18 months – that’s every fortnight on average!! http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/2720345.stm

Sometimes councils spend £1000s putting in new surfaced pavements and roads only for the utility companies to dig them up straight away. In Huddersfield 2 weeks ago a water company dug up the newly surfaced road within 48 hours!

So no aesthetically pleasing pavements in the near future! Although I am told that councils have new powers now to regulate this, I don’t expect them to start enforcing it soon – but this is a democracy and since councillors do need to be elected (even if by fewer and fewer people) if it irritates you as much as me – e-mail them and give ‘em hell! http://www.writetothem.com/

900 months and plane cams

Decided to launch a 2nd blog to keep this one more frivolous and light-hearted.

So if you want to join me in some pondering on the meaning of life click on my blog link on the right.

Can't believe the kids are back for the new Semester tomorrow and I'm still jet-lagged from my 16 hour journey back from Kuala Lumpur via Dubai yesterday -- and I have a 9am lecture to give!

On a separate note -- very worried by the introduction of flight cams on planes. Do we really need or want to see the runway on the big screen as the plane approaches for landing? I know I don't? And why do people clap when the plane lands? I mean that's the pilot's job? Do these people clap when their taxi driver gets them to where they are going or if their train arrives on time or heaven forbid early? And when exactly would they boo?

Later...

Southeast Asia is revolting

Normal service will be resumed soon!

Currently in Malaysia on a research trip but clearly chose the wrong country to go to this summer as all the excitement is taking place to the north in Thailand where Thai students, unionists and the middle classes appear to have decided that they don't like democracy anymore because the poor keep voting for the 'wrong' party and electing politicians that they don't like.

How terribly inconvenient of them!

Guys think you need to go back to school and look up the meaning of democracy. I had to live through 18 years of a government I didn't like while most of the world has had to put up with 8 years of Geroge W Bush because a narrow majority of Americans preferred him to the democrats.

Anyway don't be surprised to see Thailand's 19th coup take place soon -- ostensibly to 'save' the country from chaos and to write another constitution which will again try to keep those pesky poor people out.

Proud to be British??

Was musing on this the other day after watching a Panorama special on ‘Britishness’. For those of you not from this wet little corner of NW Europe the Right in Britain, led by the paranoid ranting of the Daily Mail (barely concealing its origins as first a pro-Empire and then pro-Fascist newspaper), have been harping on for a while now about the decline of ‘British’ identity. It seems the British way of life is threatened by three major developments:

1) the devolution of power to Scotland and Wales (with a corresponding resurgence in their respective national identities)

2) an emerging European Superstate that wants to govern every aspect of British life and

3) increased immigration.

The problem as the documentary itself demonstrated is that no-one can quite agree on what exactly Britishness is. Politicians from across the spectrum now agree that there is something uniquely British that needs to be preserved, queue talk of a British National Day, of British Jobs for British Workers and citizenship on the national curriculum, but ordinary Joe Public when quizzed generally struggled to identify what this was.

The closing ceremony of the Olympic Games demonstrated that there is no single defining essence. What we got was a Red London bus, David Beckham, a young British Indian girl walking on the backs of ‘passengers’ queuing for the bus with umbrellas and a rendition of Led Zepellin’s “Whole Lotta Love” sung by X-Factor winner Leona Lewis.

Some people interviewed came up with feelings (proud), other with values (democracy) others simply shrugged their shoulders and said they didn’t know. Panorama interspersed all this with photos of the Queen, the Red Arrows flying squadron and clips of John Cleese doing his famous ‘silly walk’ in the once ubiquitous suit and bowler hat of civil servants.

The problem of course is that Britain and Britishness were ‘created’ after the Union of Scotland and England in 1701, in many ways to placate Scottish fears that they were being absorbed or conquered by England. Great Britain was a union of nations united by monarchy and parliament. In addition most identities are defined in opposition to something that they are not, an ‘other’, so during the 18th, 19th and most of the 20th centuries it was easy to cast British as not German, not French, part of Europe but distinct from it and of course all this was aided by a worldwide empire that facilitated the development of a jingoistic patriotism in this new identity.

Today in a world where we do not face an immediate enemy from across the Channel, in a post-imperial world where we have become a multicultural nation is there any such thing as British? and what is it other than a residual attachment to a weakening union. Sure we can point to the flag-waving of the Last Night of the Proms and the rallying chorus of ‘Rule Britannia but other than intangible qualities is there anything tangible left? Interestingly most naturalized immigrants to Britain prefer to identify as British rather than for example as English which is seen as being a predominantly ‘white’ identity defined in contrast to our Welsh and Scots neighbours and those meddling Europeans. Anyway enough of the academic musing here is a list of things that make me think of Britain and arguably ‘feel British:

1. The Queen – ‘God Bless her’ :-)
2. The Flag – arguably one of the most distinctive in the world
3. The Humble Cup of Tea
4. Warm ale (with a nice frothy head – if you are northern)
5. Our irreverence for political authority and the long history of political satire and comedy that goes with it.
6. Our music – infinitely preferable to Euro-pop
7. Our island status and long association with the Sea, trade, travel, exploration
8. The Weather – and its impact on defining our national character. Of course we whinge, so would the Aussies or anyone if they had such unpredictability on a daily basis
9. Sport – from Football to Rugby and the Olympics.. (and the passion it generates)
10. Our quirkiness – where else do you get cheese-rolling, welly-throwing, plough-races, sheep-dog trials, bottle-kicking, caber-tossing, bog-snorkelling, gorilla-runs, and birdmen competitions?

In a nation built on successive waves of migration from German tribes (Angles and Saxons), to Vikings, Normans, Huguenots, Jews, South Asians and new-Europeans how could Britishness be built on blood and belonging? If we threw all immigrants out the only people left would be the descendants of the Beaker and Celts so in other words the Welsh! So if you love her Madge, drink tea, think we rock musically, and love watching football and eating chips in the rain – welcome to the club. And we don’t need a ‘test’ or a government promoted class to tell us who we are.

Lies, Damned Lies and Statistics

Quick one for now.

Interesting how in the US the Olympic medal table is calculated by total number of medals won rather than by number of golds. Of course when you see that by opting for the former rather than the latter the United States comes out on top beating China by 2 medals it all becomes clear.

Everyone else, including the Official Website of the 2008 Games ranks nations by gold medals won, then silver and bronze, which given their relative import makes sense. Of course perhaps its just too traumatic for the american psyche to be knocked off the top spot by its great economic and Communist rival. I could make a tenuous link to hegemonic decline but as I'm not giving a Pol Sci lecture I won't :-)

(New York Times Medal Table)
http://2008games.nytimes.com/olympics/medals.asp

(Official Medal Table)
http://results.beijing2008.cn/WRM/ENG/INF/GL/95A/GL0000000.shtml

Naturally I prefer the official table as it puts team GB in 3rd rather than 4th! Either way we are still ahead of the Ozzies who are displaying the rather British characteristic of whingeing!
http://www.guardian.co.uk/sport/2008/aug/12/olympicgames.aquatics.britainaustralia

We Finally Have the Midas Touch!

After a lifetime of great British sporting failures, near-misses and over-hyped potential stars I have to say the recent successes of Team GB in the Beijing Olympics leaves me somewhat stunned. Similarly the sight of Britain in third place behind China and the United States in the medal table does kindle a wave of jingoistic nationalist pride which in turn evokes Elgar, the Last Night of the Proms, the humble pint and the Great British cuppa. I also have to admit to getting rather carried away shouting words of encouragement at British cyclists and rowers! It is also wonderful to be ahead of all of our European rivals (sorry partners) and those sportsmad Australians. The press coverage (print, radio and TV media) has been ebullient, full of as many puns and clichés using the words gold and golden as you could think of with blanket coverage of any sport where there was a medal prospect – cue the most coverage that cycling and sailing has probably ever had on British TV.

Its all a long cry from the spectacular underperformances we have grown use to in post-Imperial Britain. Previously we had to seek solace in heroic failures such as plasterer Eddie-the-Eagle's famed last place in the Olympic ski-jumping competition in the 1988 Calgary Olympics. For those of you who don't remember his 'gallant' attempts, while Eddie was the first Brit to ever compete in this event and the British record holder he came last, and was an unmissable figure jumping in his thick glasses because he was so short-sighted. Qualifying because he was the British No.1 some within the IOC who clearly had no sense of humour felt Eddie was making a mockery of the sport and indeed the games and so changed the rules of qualification to make it impossible for anyone else to follow in his wake.

So from over-used clichés about sportsmanship, and 'its not the winning that counts' we are currently all being cheered up by our Olympian champions, and boy do we need it with all this rain.

Ernie, the Fastest MilkMan in the West

Inspired by a green blogger http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/monthwithoutplastic/ I opted to stop buying supermarket milk, despite the recently announced massive price cuts, and returned to doorstep delivery by the local milkman.

To be honest paying 10-20p more a pint is not going to bankrupt me and so on Monday morning I woke up to find a once familiar sight -- the humble pint bottle sitting on my doorstep. And you know what? It brought back such nostalgia. If like me you can remember the clink of milk bottles and the whirring of the milk float’s electric engine in the wee small hours of the morning then you will know what I mean, it’s like the dairy equivalent of the tooth fairy.

Some of you may even recall robbing pints from people’s doorsteps on the way home from a late night drunken session or awaking to find birds had pecked a hole in the aluminium foil to drink the cream.

My Grandma actually bought some plastic device that you left for the milkman to fit over the bottle to stop the little feathered thieves – probably bought it from one of those companies who you only ever see advertising their wares in the Daily Mail alongside adult incontinence pants and illuminated magnifying glasses.

Anyhow so now I am recycling with minimal effort and helping to preserve a dying occupation and this morning when I opened my door I found a cornucopia of goodies – milk, fruit juice and organic eggs, it was like Supermarket Santa had been and paid me a visit.

Support your milkman!

http://www.milkdeliveries.co.uk/

P.S. while I am on my 70s nostalgia-trip go here to see the No.1 song from Dec 7th 1971... (Incidentally Tory Leader David Cameron picked this as one of his desert island discs!!!!!!)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cLKaLvrtn-8

What are Pringles? And When is a Cake a Biscuit?

I remembered this this morning when I heard a good gag on the radio. The comedian quipped "Pringles are the only self-regulating junk food -- when your hand is too fat to fit in the tube you know you've had enough". Made me chuckle.

Anyway it reminded me of the UK High Court's ruling that Pringles were not in fact crisps (potato chips to the Americans out there). Apparently the firm took this to court to avoid paying VAT (sales tax) at 17.5% on snacks made from potatoes.

Turns out, according to the experts, that only 42% of said snack food is made from potatoes or potato flour... which makes you wonder what on earth the other 58% is!

Of course this follows earlier cases where manufacturers have tried to prove their produce is not one particular food item for tax purposes... apparently Jaffa Cakes are cakes rather than biscuits (cookies). But all this pales into insignificance when you consider Marks and Spencer's Tea Cakes.

The famous UK food and clothing retailer has spent 13 and 1/2 years fighting to reclaim tax it paid because the UK government classed its teacakes as biscuits rather than cakes. Eventually this went to the highest court in the UK (The House of Lords) and then to the European Court of Justice where Euro-judges ruled that M&S were entitled to a £3.5 million rebate.

Just picture the Law Lords in their robes and wigs arguing about whether a cake was a cake or a biscuit -- only in Britain LOL

Back to the Future II

Wait a minute! The more I think about it the more we do seem to be back in the 1970s.

Besides the Soviets (sorry Russians) marching round their periphery crushing dissenting Slavs consider the following:

1. The US is fighting an unpopular war in a distant country

2. Dr Who is one of the most popular TV programmes on the BBC

3. Inflation is back (exceeding 4% in July)

4. Unemployment is rising again for the first time in years

5. The economy is stalling

Combine the last three and you get that uniquely 70s phenomenon -- Stagflation

Oh and just like in the late 70s all of this is happening under a deeply unpopular Labour government.

All we need now are some striking miners in donkey-jackets (see picture for the non-UK audience), and a scary woman with blonde hair in the Conservative party...

ahhhhhhhhh where did I park that time machine

Back to the Future

I think I must have fallen asleep and woken up in the 1970s, much like that character from the BBC TV programme 'Life on Mars'. I mean Soviet (sorry Russian) tanks and troops are pouring into a neigbouring country that tried to assert a little too much independence from Moscow. Is it me or haven't we been here before.... Hungary 1956, Czechoslovakia 1968. Just as then, even if this stops short of regime change, it will nevertheless have demonstrated the limits of Russian tolerance in its near abroad.


So it seems were back to bad or good old days (depending on your point of view) when we knew clearly who are enemey was and where to find them. Yes its Cold War Redux. Well what did we expect? Putin has already brought back the old Soviet era national anthem, Hollywood has already dusted the cobwebs off Rambo and brought him back this year to fight in the jungles of Burma and in the States we have a Cold War veteran jostling with a black JFK to be the next President.

What was it Marx once said, "all great, world-historical facts and personages occur, as it were, twice... the first time as tragedy, the second as farce.”

Right I'm off in my Austin Mini to go and buy some flared trousers and a kipper tie.

You know you're getting old when...

I was going to start my first proper post by saying that I was in danger of becoming a grumpy old man, when suddenly I realised I was a grumpy old b**stard already. Aside from the salt and pepper stubble and the sprouting of nasal (and worse) ear hair I thought I'd begin my musings and rants with a random list of 'Signs you're getting old'.

1. You can remember when Pop Diva Kylie Minogue was just the fresh-faced star of an Australian soap opera.
2. You got a free half-pint of milk at primary school.
3. You remember Batman, Star Wars and Indiana Jones the first time round
4. You can remember when Madonna was every young boys pin-up rather than a dancing grandma
5. You have no idea what is No.1 in the singles chart, and you no longer care
6. Sportsmen and women are considerably younger than you
7. Politicians are the same age as you
8. You trade your left-leaning newspaper (The Guardian in my case) for something more sensible (The Times)
9. You complain about the price of a pint passing £3.00 (I actually paid £4.00 the other day and nearly had a fit)
10. You complain about music being too loud
11. You have to get up to pee in the night
12. You berate kids for behaving badly with the infamous “we didn't behave like that when we were children”
13. You start going to bed early and, or waking up at hours unheard of 10 years before
14. You notice you have a dental 'routine'
15. You vote in local elections
16. You buy a hat because you think you look good in it (and I don't mean a beanie or a baseball cap)
17. Exercise becomes a necessity rather than a hobby
18. Gin and Tonic becomes you long drink of choice
19. You buy the latest hi-tech gadget, find you have no idea how it works and ask your neighbour/friend/sibling's children to show you instead
20. You can remember when a Snickers bar was called Marathon
    

First Post

First did this long before it was fashionable then gave up (long story which I won't bore you with for now).

Anyway after a long hiatus I've decided to return to the Blogosphere. As then expect a series of random posts covering everything from the weather to my constant struggles with incompetent people, bureaucracy and the occasional irritations caused by 'lazy' flies.

From time to time I'll 'do a bit of politics' (my trade after all -- well studying it and boring others about it) and comment.

Sometimes it'll be amusing, sometimes it won't and in any case with so many thousands of blogs out there who'll be reading anyway?